Sunday, August 30, 2015

10 Important Lessons for the Beginning Gamer (Like Me)



1. Don't argue with, question, or antagonize the Game Master. This will end badly for you or your character. Probably both.

2. If the Game Master asks you if you brought something, the answer is always YES. Chances are, you're going to need it in about five seconds. If you're not sure you brought it, lie.

3. If the words "Are you sure?" come out of the Game Master's mouth, the answer is always NO. "Are you sure" is code for "That's a reeeaaallly bad idea." Your current course of action will inevitably end badly.

4. Don't split the party. Somebody will die...or come as close to death as the rules of the gaming system allow.

5. If you must split the party, see #4.

6. Science may support the idea that all dice are created equal. This is a lie. There is such a thing as cursed dice. And they will screw you over. All. Night. Long. Just pick a different set.

7. Making stuff up at the drop of a hat is hard. Plan ahead.

8. Don't bother planning ahead. Someone will inevitably fuck things up.

9. Rolling a 20 tends to happen when you're rolling initiative. Rolling a 1 will always happen when you're trying to use stealth to sneak past whatever large and deadly monster happens to be sleeping five feet away. Because shit happens.

10. Relax. Go with it. Have fun. Going into the dark cave, fighting 18 trillion zombies, 16 ogres, and a troll means LOTS of XP.

Did I miss anything vital?

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